Flirting 101: How to Grab a Man’s Attention with Your Eyes

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

I walked into my apartment after a long day of work to find my roommate, Victoria, slouched over on the sofa, crying.  I fixed her a glass of water, sat down beside her, and waited for her to calm down.  After ten minutes or so, she began talking.  “There’s this really, REALLY good-looking guy in my sociology class.  I mean, drop-dead handsome.  He’s got gorgeous black hair, and gorgeous green eyes, and gorgeous tan skin, and he’s just so gorgeous.  He even got glasses recently, so now he looks gorgeous AND studious.  Anyway, I tried to get his attention all during class last week; I mean, I kept looking at him, and staring at him, and after the first time he saw me he literally refused to look at me again. And then today, I saw him walking to the library on campus, and he was with another girl.  He was laughing and smiling and didn’t even notice me wave.  Why don’t boys pay attention to me?!”  More sobs.  I thought for a few minutes about what to do, and then it hit me.  “Vickie, honey, it’s times for a lesson in Flirting 101.  Trust me, this will be the best ‘class’ you’ll ever take…”

Flirting Basic 101: How to Get a Man’s Attention with Eye Contact:

A good way to grab a man’s attention is with eye contact.  “Eye contact directly activates brain arousal systems and/or elicits a strong emotional response.  This raised arousal or emotional level then influences subsequent perceptual and cognitive processing.”[1]  Eye-connection can be greatly used to a girl’s advantage when it comes to the male species.  It is, however, an art that must be perfected.  The eye contact must seem natural and unforced, a moment of fate rather than a hound dog stare.  Follow the steps below and you’ll have that fateful eye contact in no time!

  1. Control your feelings.  People say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and the truth behind this saying is that the eyes often reflect your thoughts, feelings, and intentions.  In order to make the subtle, inviting eye contact, you must clear your mind of any man-hunting thoughts you have, lest your eyes make you look like a prowling lion.
  2. Connect your eyes for the right amount of time.  Connecting too briefly gives the impression you are nervous or unsure, while connecting for too long sends the signal you are creepy or intruding.  A good rule of thumb is to connect with them and think, “I like you,” then end it.  This is a good amount of time. Short enough to be friendly, long enough for them to notice.  Also, thinking, “I like you” will be reflected from your eyes.
  3. How to end eye contact?  Ladies, look slowly down and to the side.  Never jerk your eyes away.  This will make you seem like you were doing something wrong or having eye convulsions.  Never look up, as this can be mistaken for rolling your eyes.  Never look directly to the sides.  You will seem shifty.  Rather, tuck your chin, and bring your eyes down and to the side.  A small, closed-lip smile will season the moment with a dash of bashfulness, counteract the bold move of making eye-contact, and make the man’s heart beat faster.

Eye contact should be used to grab a man’s attention, not frighten him away.  After making eye contact the first time, see how he responds.  If he seems interested, try it again a few minutes later.  If he seems uninterested, don’t push it.  There are other ways to get his attention. The main point is to gain positive attention, so don’t overdo it.

Be sure to check back on my blog soon!  Eye contact is only the first of many successful flirting techniques I’ll be writing about.  Soon, you AND Vicky will be flirting pros!


[1] Senju, Atsushi, Johnson, Mark. “The Eye Contact Effect: Mechanisms and Development.” Trends in Cognitive Sciences 13.3 (2008): n. pag. Trends in Cognitive Sciences – The Eye Contact Effect: Mechanisms and Development. Centre for Brain and Cognitive Development. Web. 30 Jan. 2014.